it's a Fabulous life!

Life Lesson #6271 - In the moment

2011-06-04T04:52:00.000-05:00

The last week has been full of fun, laughter, and kindred spirits. I have absolutely had the time of my life while trying to learn one of life's most difficult lessons of all - at least for me. Over the last two years, I've been working hard at living in the moment, not worrying about the future as we all know we are not promised one second beyond this one right now.

I will admit that I plan ahead, yes, I'm always concerned about being alone in the end; but, I think one can strike a balance between life right now, and the question of paying my bills/putting food on the table - especially if I am destined to be alone. Often I wonder if the, "Can't we just enjoy the moment without thinking about the future?" is a fabulous line which works great at the time. Is there anything wrong with wanting to know how a man/woman feels about you or their intentions for the future?

**Author's Note - I wrote this entry nearly 2 years ago; and, I have run out of ways to help her, Any suggestions?**

Who Controls You!

2009-11-23T16:32:00.000-06:00

My closest friends know, I never miss a day's horoscope even if I read it before bed to see if the stars were on target. Today, I am a Taurus - FYI - mine says: Get yourself out of a power struggle. The stars give you diplomatic immunity.

There are people in my circle who would say I'm an idiot for reading these and even more stupid for giving them validity; especially where relationships are concerned. I've read the descriptions for each sign, and when "they" say a Taurus & Virgo are highly compatible whereas a Taurus & Gemini are highly volatile, I believe because I have witnessed it all for myself. My best friends - both male & female - have been Virgos, Scorpios, & either Capricorns or Saggitarius - I'd have to check. :) The most awful relationships have been with Geminis, Aries, and Leos - sad since I married both a Gemini & Aries. Guess I wish I knew then what I know now, but hindsight is always 20/20, right?

These are also not hard & fast rules by any means. For some, yes, they will not begin their days until they know what the Astrologists have said; but, they fail to know for every Astrologist there are a million out there - kind of like cock roaches, and they all say different things.

So? To whom do we listen? Who controls are lives? The purpose of today's post actually has very little to do with Astrology or Horoscopes aside from what mine said to me today. It's message, though I've heard it a million times, somehow became liberating on this day un-like any other.

"Get Yourself out of a Power Struggle. The Stars give you Diplomatic Immunity."

My life is one HUGE power struggle right now; so much so that I cannot even talk to the person with whom I struggle the most because of fear. By nature, I am diplomatic, and while I will fight Heaven & Earth for anyone else; when it comes to me, it is much easier to coddle down and let life pass me by rather than living on my own terms. The term itself, "Diplomatic Immunity," also reminds me of Lethal Weapon when Mel Gibson's character is trying to bring down the South African Consulate, but I digress...

In this week of giving Thanks for those we love, and stuff our faces full of food; I hope to inspire you to take control of your own life as I now try to do going into my 40th year. Life on your terms and nobody else's so long as it's legal and does no harm to those around you. One day I'll get the courage to write how I got to where I am today, still being controlled by others; but, until then thanks for the support I receive in getting back on my own two feet.

When it is all said and done, we all leave this world alone just as we entered; perhaps better dressed, but rotting in the dirt or scattered to the winds. We only get one shot, and should live it as we see fit and not how others tell us.

Cheers!

Happy Thanksgiving,
~Nicole

Friendship

2009-10-27T01:39:00.000-05:00

Aside from the fabulous people I have met online - you know who you are - I have had the great pleasure of maintaining friendships that started on the playground as kids or young love in Middle School. My husband finds this a huge phenomenon as he does not stay in contact with his childhood friends.

My very best friend with whom I will be connected until death has had to choose between our friendship, and the life he now has with a wife and kids. He has always known my stance: if I'm in the way then kick me to the curb. Well, ladies & gents, I've officially been kicked but without warning. I'd hoped for an e-mail telling me, but he knows I know that is just how close we are.

Friendships lost either to death, or otherwise; as a child or an adult hurt like hell. The pain I feel in the pit of my stomach is just aweful not to mention my need to dish really bad and know the phone will not ring again. Mourning the loss of this friendship is hurting me as bad as the loss of my child; I had no idea how much I'd become connected to him.

So how do we keep going? I've gone through break-ups, and I've had my heart splattered to hell and back; but, to lose my best friend has affected me deeply. Sure, I've more friends and getting better at making female friends as I enter my 40th year, but the loss is there as is the hole it left in my heart. Often I would say to him, "If you're stressed just look up at the moon, and know I'm looking back with good thoughts." The moon is all I've left, and especially in the most tumultuous time in my life thus far. I stand by all I've said, but it does not make the heart hurt less. Thank you for allowing me to expel my grief upon you, the unsuspecting public; the good news is you guys get to hit *delete* but I still have to figure all of this crap out! :)

Can someone please give me permission to stop being the "nice guy" all the time, and maybe, think of #1 finally? I am not naive enough to think my heart will hurt less; it would just be nice to do something for ME without thinking of any consequences. I did that recently, and I've got a new friend as a result; but, guys typically do not want friends do they? ;) The four days I spent with yet another high school friend were by far the best I've had since HS! We had fun beyond belief (at least I did), and it opened my eyes to who I can really be and for what I've settled. It was by far the most liberating experience of my life, and I want to do it again & again. Obviously, a job w/healthcare benefits will be the only way I can achieve such a goal; but, it is about time people stop taking me for granted and getting my skills for free! All good things come with a huge price tag as experience has taught me, so if you guys know of any job leads in the PR/Marketing/Customer Service field, please do not hesitate to let me know.

I still intend on being the National Voice of Congenital Heart Disease, but volunteer work is to be done as an extra-curricular activity from the real paying job (unless you are a NY Socialite - which I most certainly am NOT)!

Enough of the wallowing in self-pity; I am moving forward with life on my terms and hope my best friend finally gets permission to be friends with a member of the opposite sex. Unless that happens, our next contact will be with my attorney post-mortem. I do not want my demise to bring him back around...

As I tell you with just about each post, "Life is too short!" I've not been good at living in the moment, but I am taking baby steps in that direction. I blame the hell, fire, and brimstone raising we all got in the deep south! Tell your friends you love them, it's so important; and, I pray nobody loses a friend to marriage - it's the million dollar question - Can women & men be just friends? - I stick with "yes." Perhaps I am more naive then I thought!! ;-)

Cheers to all my friends both inside & outside my computer!

Flu - H1N1 Priority Status

2009-10-21T01:59:00.000-05:00

Today I write you all from the great state of Hawaii - the Big Island - and yes, you must fly between each (a woman on our plane said, "I'm driving over there next week!" People are so freaking stupid I cannot believe it; however, I am not here to rub your noses in my vacation - feel free to be jealous - but my grief lies with a much larger issue.

A few minutes ago, we were listening to the news when a report about free H1N1 vaccines began, stating that all health care workers were offered free H1N1 vaccines today as *they* are top priority. O.k. I get it as a semi-frequent visitor to hospitals and health care facilities, I want the staff to be as healthy as possible. However, the report went on to say: "Pregnant women, children, and the elderly are the only ones aside from the health care providers on the critical, must-have list."

Hello??? If there is anyone from the CDC listening or a person with access to them, please educate whomever is in charge of doling out vaccines that we have more people in this population who should be at the top of said list. Health-wise I have been quite lucky over the years, and my doctor says as a Congenital Heart Patient things could be far worse; so, I'd gladly donate my vaccine. With that said, we have a population of 1,000,000 adult congenital heart patients and 800,000 children, so why are they not on the list? Is it just me or has someone really dropped the ball on this one? According to my friend, also a CHD patient, we have to petition the CDC to get on the list and pray they deem us worthy of a vaccination based on need.

The media has bombarded us with misinformation as per usual, so I do not blame them in the least; it is their job to report whatever is keyed on the TelePrompter. It is not even the Heart Patients' for which I fight, but all people with potentially life-threatening situations when presented with the results of getting any flu, let alone H1N1.

Anyone who has ever had the flu (I've actually heard of people who have not) knows it is terrible, aches like hell, and makes you wish death come swiftly and quietly. However, we spend our time in bed be it 7 days to 2 weeks, and slowly but surely return to a place where we are glad to not have succumb to that death wish. Some are even smart enough to get out of bed and shower, drink hot tea with honey & whiskey to find it makes them feel much better though they remain sick. Just a side-bar: I drink the tea, but can barely lift my head from the pillow so forget showering or movement of any kind. :) It is the complications that come from the flu, especially this pig (swine) variety that should give the CDC pause to increase that "need only" list under lock and key.

Pneumonia is at the top of that list, and we heart patients see huge red flags with that first rattle in our chests. Even if one is not in congestive heart failure (fluid build up around the heart & lungs) at the time, it can happen fast and with very little warning. Personally, I have had pneumonia a couple of times already this year; fortunately, I was able to avoid hospitalization. The antibiotics, though, are getting stronger & stronger to the point where it's an eventuality and that scares the hell out me! So, why should I be scared if I am not even sick? My husband started with the flu at 2:30 a.m. Hawaii time today, and I as his care-giver (nobody else is going near him) am next in line. I'm at least a 15 to 20 hour travel distance from my physician; and, he brought his Tami flu not mine even though they were sitting together.

My biggest hope is the "list" for H1N1 vaccines I heard about today is state-based, so I can get my Congressman involved in getting me a shot - ouch!! As for this blog, knowledge is power; and, if you have a family member with health issues that could be compromised then get a flu shot NOW for them and yourself. When you wash your hands, sing "Happy Birthday" to yourself (in your head), think of it as a celebration of your life in that moment - whatever it takes. ;-) Most importantly, if you need to be on some list at the CDC, please start lobbying for your spot.

Good Health to all and let's hope we survive this scare with no more loss of life...

Respectfully,
~Nicole

Navigating the World of Cliches

2009-10-13T16:03:00.000-05:00

It has been said, “No man is worth your tears, and the one who is will never make you cry.” Of course, “they” say many things, you know, “the collective them,” as I refer to those who have nothing better than to sit around and make these statements, most likely because "they" don't have a freaking clue! These are the same "people," who say my least favorite, "It is what it is;" or "Well, what are you gonna do?" How about fix the problem, offer a suggestion, or get the hell out of my way?

However, what happens on the rare occasion when you actually do stumble upon a person who has only brought laughter, fun, romanticism, and the tears are merely post, well, you know. ☺ Especially, when neither one, the other or both, whom sparked have room in their lives for emotional or romantic entanglements? Rhetorically speaking, though I am sure situations like these arise, but if one cliche becomes real; does that give credence to the others? I swear, the next person who throws his/her hands in the air and says, "It is what it is," and walks away will not rank any higher in my book; so the answer in my opinion is a resounding, "No!" How then can one simple thing such as this finding a good man happen? The friend relating her story to me has been brow-beaten to death by me with so many questions she's about to cave. My answer has been, "Give it time, sister, he'll come around!"

The problem with this scenario is your friends want you to be happy, and good friends tell you, "Do whatever makes YOU happy." Sadly, my friend wants the man whom she has always wanted, but never knew was there. What am I supposed do to for her now? One, she is a married woman so for anything to progress, she would have to become unmarried; however, she's been on that trip for ages. There are no guarantees in life even if she divorces, aloneness is the best she can assume. If she wanted to stay with a man who makes her miserable, she would have chosen another many years ago for much better reasons. No matter which direction she goes from this point forward she is screwed, and most likely to end up alone because "he" is just too good a catch to hold any extended interest in her.

So, my answer to "the ones who are worth it will never make you cry," is BULL SHIT!! He may not want or mean to make you cry, but it is bound to happen no matter what unless you are in some sick Disney, Happy Ever After movie - which we all know never happens.

Look at me, heart disease and all, I've people all the time wishing they were in my shoes because all they see is the facade - the pictures you see in my last post, and the husband who works night & day to provide handsomely for "us." Thus, I feel it my responsibility to remind you all - cliches are named such for a reason. Do not base your romantic life on the lack of tears, but the spark, chemistry the two of you feel for each other; and, an enjoyment of common interests helps tremendously too. If you enjoy each other's company rather than sitting in separate areas of the house - you are off to a great start!

What do I know, though? I'm no Dr. Ruth! It is what it is, and what are you gonna do about it?

Home Reno Hell

2009-10-13T14:36:00.000-05:00

Kathryn, I promised you pictures and never let it be said that I break my promises! ;-) Since the last article, my little project has advanced at a fairly decent pace; but, due to measures beyond my control (lack of access to the funds) as well as special orders - the master bath is complete, but Nicole still sleeps in her daughter's bed. I feel like Charlie Brown most days, "ARGHHHHHH!"

At least I am no longer required to shower in "the crypt," as I've so affectionately deemed the guest bath; and, I have my first grown up closet completely designed by yours truly. The goal now is to finish clearing out the past (old clothes) and learn to keep only what I need today. Boxes and bags of old clothing have gone out the door to charity - my own personal "What Not to Wear," but clutter reproduces faster than termites or cockroaches. The mounds are never-ending, but as Gloria Gaynor sings, "I Will Survive!" Due to the fact I've a much more interesting post following, without further ado here are the pictures of what has been finished; I am told the bedroom will be done in November, but the same thing was said over 5 years ago - not holding my breath.

As you will notice, our house sits atop a hill surrounded by mountains; and, it was quite literally sliding off the hill due to recent changes in our water table after years in severe drought. Sadly, the interior budget had to go to the foundation first then painting the exterior if we were to salvage the siding. Thankfully, softball size hail purchased a new roof of which I have yet to snap photos just happy it is done. My apologies for the photo quality, but I am still learning just like this blog.

Life is the Opposite of Fabulous!

2009-10-04T14:30:00.000-05:00

A dear friend of mine told me to get off my ass and start with the truth rather than sugar coating with this BS of "It's a Fabulous Life," after I'd given him my login creds to be a "Guest Blogger" due to writer's block. Trust me, I'm so secretive about my passwords, constantly changing them (note to self), and constantly forgetting them as old age is rapidly setting in that it took a major trust effort on my part, but totally worth it. Mickey, I owe you!

Just an FYI - he's a hell of a lot funnier than me, so I still want him on the show one day; I'm sure readership will triple that day to at least 3! ;-)

So where was I? Oh yea, me, obviously! (JK) I was asked to provide some Congenital Heart info today which gave me the chance to weed out the followers on Twitter (real whack jobs), I'd no idea were watching. I'll spare you the endearing romantic quotes on which I stumbled, but one struck a nerve that truly has me pissed to no end:

"To Dream of the Person you Would like to be is to waste the Person you are." -Anonymous

True for every human on this earth, but having just survived another battle with the grim reaper and stuck in a situation holding me back from being the person I want to be, I'm back to just sitting here until death takes me? Hell no!

I'm told women are the empowered sex today; however, I've not found my power, and each time I take a step towards being the woman I know I am and honor the life I've been given I get kicked down each time. So what's a gal to do?

Well, I'll tell you, it's the reason I titled my blog as such; we all fall down every single day - I've fallen so far that I never thought I'd get back up. So, whether you are diseased, caring for diseased family, or just down right miserable about the state of our economy remember today is all you are promised & pick your ass up and try again. If you are kicked while down as I've often experienced use it to fuel your ambition rather than falling comatose to the one who thinks they hold all the power - they do not. All of these "don'ts, I've already done; thus, my chance to help someone not repeat my mistakes, rather learn from them.

Enjoy your weekend, and know we are in it together - I say that all the time, though I've faced the worse years of my life alone. :-( Probably the biggest reason I turned to the web, who can afford shrinks in this day & age? ;)

Healthcare is a HUGE obstacle for me, but we'll debate that another time. No energy today...just enjoy each day, and whatever it brings. If you get bruised, physically or psychologically find a way to do something for YOU, and know it is their problem!

Thanks for sticking around; I'm still trying to make this blog my own. Comments, feedback, and suggestions always welcome as long as they are intended positively.

~Nicole

Music = Emotions set to a tune

2009-10-03T17:04:00.000-05:00

At this writing, I've more music than 1 person should; yet, most of friends and my child for that matter has 2-3x my collection as I still forget Amazon continually tells me I can download 200 songs free. When I finally get to Amazon, I download the crap trying to be promoted - some is good - then I end up buying more than those songs are worth; that's their point, right?

The story goes far deeper for me, and I think most women; since I am a woman in every since of the word (no extra appendages) we will for argument's sake declare I am only speaking for the ladies. Men may chime in as they wish. Look at any woman's Ipod or "whatever" and she will be able to tell you what or better with whom she was the first time she heard that song. Each song evokes a memory from the get-go.

Currently, I'm listening to "Ode to Billy Joe" by Bobbie Gentry - BAM - parents! I've had a Miles Davis collection for years (it's somehow gone missing), but forever I will think of only one when I listen to anything by Miles.

I have a similar theory about movies too, but I hardly wish to bore you with my tales of Poltergeist, Predator or some really gnarly movies I've sat through all in the name of "love." :P

So, I need you guys - K - are you still there? Is this just by G-Damn romantic heart or do other women do the same?

Men, speak up for yourselves! Please do not tell me I'm crazy, because I'd give just about anything to turn it OFF! Lionel Richie, Neil Diamond, Phil Collins, and a plethera of others!! :D

Time in a Bottle...(Song by Jim Croce)

2009-09-20T18:59:00.000-05:00

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to spend it with you.

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like just to treasure them with you.

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box for wishes
And dreams that had never came true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory of how they were answered by you.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

People have accused me of being an "I Love You," slut, but none of us knows how long we have on this earth. It is my worse fear to lose anyone dear to my heart having not ever told them, "I love you!" Think how wonderful this life would be if we were all sluts w/our love. ;-) So, I'm posting just a few pics of folks though I would bore you should I give away all the loves of my life. My hope in this blog is to encourage more love in the world; it's o.k. to say those 3 little words to the opposite sex and not be proposing marriage for crying out loud!!

Joys of Home Renovations

2009-08-27T14:41:00.000-05:00

Hi! If there is anyone still reading, I apologize for the month lapse in updates. Keep reading because this is my story and I'm sticking to it! :-)

One lovely Sunday afternoon in September 2004, my (at the time) fiance and I were reading the paper in our cozy, easily maintained 800 sq.ft. apartment when we stumbled upon the Real Estate section. The house featured that week on the front page was a gorgeous, 3500 sq. ft Victorian located in a valley w/a fabulous view of what counts for mountains in AL. Gregg showed me the picture, and I said, "Yes...let's!" Sure I stole the line from "Sweet Home Alabama," but that is what my family does - quote movies until people either scream or go running for the hills; that is another blog, altogether. ;-)

The house we purchased is beautiful, but the former owners' decoration scheme was pink and country blue in it's entirety; we even got a decorating bonus from them to update the paint scheme. OMG, I am so sick of living in "the Pink House." However, it does have great bones, wrap around porch, and a magnificent view. I was told by the man of the house, we would get started on the decorating shortly after moving in, but life went to hell shortly after; yet, another blog which I will not bore you with today. Suffice it to say, we chose our Master Bedroom (I think it is to be a zen retreat) several years ago; and, picked up on the work about 6 weeks ago when I put my foot down and told my engineer hubby, "Dammit, you cannot do everything yourself!" I proceeded to contact a contractor who has become my 2nd dad, and we now have a gorgeous bath. Love, love, love - did I mention I love it?

Tomorrow, the drawer pulls arrive, and I will install, snap pictures so you may all enjoy with envy (teasing); however, I never in my wildest dreams thought I could design something so cool! Stay tuned for my next post complete with pictures, and I'll dish about how true the saying is: "If your marriage/relationship can survive construction or renovation then it must be a match made in Heaven." We have fought like cats & dogs just about everything! For some reason his brain lives in this alternative universe that expects stuff to not cost anything; making my need for a job more imperative as I spent everything I had in my account on clothes and necessities, and I need to be looking toward a fall/winter wardrobe! Priorities being straight & all...:P

Have a great evening, All!

~Nicole

My Heart Story - Reason for It's a Fabulous Life!

2009-07-24T12:50:00.000-05:00

My name is Nicole Vickery Borek, and I was born in May 1970 with a seriously defected heart. I was a "Blue Baby" (cyanotic) born with Tetrology of Fallot. At 7 days old, I had my first visit with the Cardiologist at the University of Alabama in Birmingham Medical Center (UAB), who would save my life multiple times. In the 1970’s, there were many innovative breakthroughs in open-heart surgery, especially for pediatrics. I had a Waterston shunt performed in 1971 as a way to allow blood flow & keep me alive until I was old enough for corrective surgery. At the time, a child had to be 5 years old and/or weigh close to 50lbs before they could operate; today, they are able to perform the correction much younger.

Gaining weight has never been my problem, and just 1 month shy of my 5th birthday, I lost consciousness and became critical with difficulty breathing. It was 1975 and my parents had to rush me to Birmingham from Huntsville (approx. 2 hour drive then), as there was no Med-flight! They proceeded with open-heart surgery correcting the four things wrong with my heart (Ventricular Septal Defect, Atrial Septal Defect, Pulmonary Stenosis, hole in my heart). Just as they were finishing the surgery, the lead surgeon noticed my Pulmonary Valve was too small so they put me back on the heart/lung machine and extended it 3mm. The operation was a success.

My parents continued taking me for regular check-ups while raising me as a normal healthy child. They encouraged me in all my endeavors: Band, Choir, Softball, Student Government, Social & Academic Clubs; and I always excelled in everything, rising to leadership roles across the board while maintaining two jobs in high school. I never thought of myself as a Heart Patient (aside from the scars on my chest) until I was an adult.

In 2004, I noticed a sudden unexplained weight gain; but, thought nothing of it just cut back on my eating as I had been over weight before. In the last 6 weeks of 2006, I gained 20 to 25lbs while eating less and moving more. My energy disappeared completely, and I began to notice pain in my left arm and chest. Just after Christmas, I even wrote my Will because I was so scared. Finally, on March 1, 2007, I mentioned the symptoms to my husband who said, "CALL THE DR!" The Dr. sent me straight to the hospital, and I spent my first night on a Lasix drip removing over 10lbs of fluid in less than 12 hours. Diagnosis: Congestive Heart Failure Prognosis: Sudden Death will always be a possibility & we do not do Pediatrics in Huntsville, get a consultation at UAB - STAT! I was back at the Pediatric Cardiology office where it all began 37 years later with my original Dr.’s protégé.

In March 2007, the Dr. originally said, "You need a new Pulmonary Valve, it's normal for adult Tetrology repairs; (turns out I should have had one at age 18, but in 1988 the procedure had not quite been perfected), however, we are working on less invasive procedures in the Cath Lab that should be ready in about 5 years. You can wait that long." So there we had it and we moved forward, and I headed off to Ft. Lauderdale on a family vacation then Mobile to spend my 37^th birthday and Mother’s Day with my daughter...Memorial weekend I landed back at the hospital 20lbs heavier again. Suddenly it was evident my heart & lungs were drowning. I had been in Congestive Heart Failure for several years (10 to 15); and, my right heart enlarged. Kidney failure was possible; surgery was critical. In June while my husband was in Germany on business, I went back to the University of Alabama in Birmingham to have my pre-op heart catherization only to find out my potassium levels were way too low. Just a word of caution to those who may have this problem too: if you have tiny, veins NEVER let them give you a bag of Potassium through an IV unless it is through a PIC line. They had me on the Pediatric Wing that day, and I swear my parents and those kids learned expletives I did not even know I knew as it was so painful. Death row inmates get tons of drugs before KCL is administered, but I could not even garner a Tylenol from what my daddy tells me; I do not remember the experience, thank God. So, after spending the weekend in an adjacent hotel (alone in deep prayer), I doubled my oral dosage of potassium, and they performed a heart catherization and finally found the source of my problems (not turrets). J My pulmonary artery that had been repaired by the Waterston Shunt in 1971 had re-narrowed not allowing blood exchange between the heart & lungs. As for my pulmonary valve it was working double-time pushing the same blood out that would wash back in again thus creating the fluid retention.

Going into this last surgery my question was: "Is the 3rd time the charm?” or “Are 3 strikes then you are out?" Definitely, the third time is the charm! Mentally & emotionally, it was stressful facing this as an adult because I carry the load my parents carried when I was a child. I have more energy now than I have had in years, and the prognosis is great for me to go on another 10+ years before I have to think about any further heart surgeries as long as I continue to practice good heart health. My life changed forever by this experience in many ways. Body image is tough not because of my scar - my father and I have always called that my "life line," but the constant weight gain/loss is difficult to handle. Each day I awake is different, sometimes I am my perfect “dry” weight, and others (especially when I travel) I can be up 5 to 10 lbs just over night no matter how much I restrict the salt in my diet. Learning to love the skin I am in regardless of the water weight has been a big hurdle, but overcoming that alone allows me to teach our younger heart patients that it CAN BE DONE! If I can help impart good self-esteem to our younger generation now, so they do not have to wait until they hit 40 as I did, it will be great for them.

The positive changes are an absolute necessity to honor the next phase of life given me. I eat a high fiber, low fat, low sodium diet, no sodas or anything with high-fructose corn syrup. I have never been a smoker and I only drink the occasional glass of wine with dinner. Exercise has been the hardest because just like Oprah I hate it! Two weeks after surgery, though, I was walking 1 mile a day in 15 minutes, now my goal is to walk 2 miles in 15 minutes. Believe the health-care providers when they promote exercise because I let my routine fall to the wayside causing a huge set back in recovery; however, the beauty is like all things we just pull ourselves up and get back on that wagon.

The worse part about Congenital Heart Disease is the biggest blessing of my life; at age 25, I learned I could not have children due to the effects of pregnancy on the heart. It is an issue that Doctors should educate parents of girls about. My personal experience was emotionally paralyzing because in 1980 (I was 10 yrs old), the Dr. told my parents, "Sure she'll have kids! Let her play NFL Football if she wants!" He was not even sure I would make it to 20 at that time. After many consultations and some poor advice resulting in a premature hysterectomy, I adopted the joy of my life, a Chinese girl in 1996 at 8 months old; she is 13 years at the time of this writing, and the best daughter a mother could want. In fact, her father (my ex-husband) is a 43 yr old ToF repair patient too; the first I had ever met since my roommate at UAB in 1975, whom I will never forget! When you are the one left with life out of 2 suffering the same defects; your life’s purpose immediately grows beyond oneself; quite a burden for such a young child.

Life as a Heart Patient can be really tough if you let it, but if you take it one step at a time, smile/laugh as much as possible, keep moving, and encouraging others by telling your story you will find yourself well-grounded while surrounded by the best, most fascinating people on this earth!

The Big Switch - Today's the Day!

2009-06-12T18:35:00.000-05:00

Today's big headline warns us of the end of life as we know it, and no, it is not the WHO's latest escalation of Swine Flu to pandemic levels as high as the plague of 1918. Though we have lived in the digital age for years, our best friends, lovers, or idiot boxes as I like to call them are the last to join the movement tonight at 11:01 p.m. (your time zone). As I recall not another technology event has brought forth such media hype since the whole 2 digit date fiasco the year 2000 ushered into our lives now requiring us to use the four digit year whenever entering a date of any kind.

So hold onto your hats everyone and enjoy the ride! :-) See you on the other side of analog, I hope you all still have the Y2K kits lying around, ya know, just in case. ;-)

Have a Great Weekend!

~Nicole

Technology 2009

2009-05-29T18:21:00.000-05:00

It has been quite the week for me in the real world as well as cyberspace; the tech world is determined to beat me, but I shall prevail. As my cartoon hero, Stewie Griffin states, "Victory Shall Be Mine!!" For some reason the strangest weeks tend to occur during "shortie" weeks as I like to call the 4 day work week when we have celebrated some dead president's birthday or this weekend the worthwhile holiday of Memorializing our living and fallen Veterans. Just a brief tangent, I think the 4th of July should be a Federal and State holiday too, but these decisions generally are not run by me for strange reasons I've yet to discern.

Nonetheless, we had one of "those" weeks, and it is not just me; I have heard accounts from many stating the same. Early on I was asking a friend whether or not they were on Facebook. My general reason for being on that particular social networking site is two-fold: a) last May my paternal Grandmother passed away, and my cousin living in NYC strongly encouraged (forcibly) ha! that I sign up so we could stay in touch which happened to coincide with the chairing of my 20th HS Reunion b) I had tried like hell to figure out MySpace, but do not have an 8 year old hanging around to set it up for me; so there ya go!

In May I made the Quantum leap over to Twitter in an never-ending battle to improve my writing skills; brevity being my goal, and it is working (I hope). The only true test of one's skill is their audience's enjoyment and return for more, so if my numbers increase I will know my little gamble has paid off. Today, (Friday) I made the Quantum Leap into Blackberry land; yes, folks as of next week upon arrival of the big brown truck I will be a "Crackhead berry" stating lines such as, "Govment come take my baby!" or "I sold the couch for crack" (minutes & texts), that is. The electronic leash whose only nemesis to date is the impenetrable I-Phone which I would have to sell much more in order to afford, and purchase the aforementioned 8 year old to teach me how to use.

My foray into technology has been a long, arduous process fraught with peril. A decade ago when interviewing for a job, my standard line was, "I can make a computer tap-dance or scratch your ass from space." Well, not the last part, but definitely the first; and now, as I approach my 40's, I feel the same as my mother did back in "the day" when i as a teenager knew more than her. My teenager can sure stand by that statement today. Luckily for me, my father has worked at NASA for 45+ years which helps keep me abreast of new gadgets and devices, but I am still behind the learning curve which slows each day we live. I miss the days of writing letters and actually receiving mail that was not advertising or bills unable to track electronically.

So, for those of you working on your "Summer of Fun" lists I have a suggestion: Make a point to write a letter, hand-write, to a special someone in your life, family member or otherwise; the elderly will appreciate it as will most anyone. If you have the means to buy some pretty stationary great, but an easy way to jazz up plain paper would be to use pinking shears along the edges for an instant lovely detail. Letter-writing is a dying art, so I would encourage those with children to have them join in on this project with no pressure of content, a simple, "How are you? I am thinking about you. Love, Your Granddaughter" will suffice. The degree of details you add to the letter, stickers, tissue paper, a drawing from the kids are only limited by your own imagination.

Take a break from the technology world and fast paced craziness of twitter, e-mail, and social sites for just a few minutes to personally show those closest to you how much you do care!

It is officially summer! I look forward to hearing from anyone how they plan to spend these fun days - the list is just a guideline; may it take you down the path less traveled for more fun than your dare ever dreamed!! :-)

~Nicole

BetterU Tips

2009-05-29T12:14:00.001-05:00

BetterMe Coaching Tool

2009-05-29T11:59:00.001-05:00

Summer of Fun - Get those lists ready!

2009-05-22T14:51:00.000-05:00

Good afternoon fellow Bloggers,

For each endeavor there must be a first time, and this entry is my virginal entry into the world of blogging, so please forgive anything I may get wrong; it most assuredly will improve with time. It is Memorial Day Weekend, and eight years ago tonight while sitting in a local pub I began a tradition still going strong today. More about that in a minute; I should preface by saying I have titled my blog, "It's a Fabulous Life," for two reasons. First, we all know it can be a really crap life if we let it, honestly, I know from personal experience. Secondly, one of my favorite holiday movies, in addition to "A Christmas Story" is "It's A Wonderful Life," I cry every year despite the fact I know George Bailey will be rescued by the town. When I say cry, I mean the UGLY cry, BOO HOO like a baby; it is quite the pathetic scene, yet I do it time and again. However, after reading "Colin Cowie Chic" and Clinton Kelly's "Freakin' Fabulous" I got to thinking (hold on to your hats, folks), most people think upon reading such books, "Sure, they are celebrities so they can live the fabulous lives! I am just John/Judy Joe, it will never work for me!!"

WRONG! I am the biggest nobody on the face of the earth, and I've been thinking for months, "What can I blog about?" Now I am on a mission, we can all live these fabulous lives even now during dark, economic times; and, I am going to help you find the fabulousness in your own life; however you define it. Whether you find serving designer ice cubes in your cocktails to guests as a step forward or preparing a special meal (not necessarily all from scratch) yet making it your own; I want to help anyone interested live and breathe fabulousity!

Why? During my recent vacation I met some of the most kind people on earth, and I attribute their endearing, laid-back spirit to living on their own terms. The minute I stepped foot back on US soil (including customs still in that country), the people I came across were terse, grumpy, and down-right rude. I've every reason to be nasty and believe me I can be, but it is my hope we can all become happier through it's a fabulous life - sort of counting our blessings kind of thing. If you woke up today, and your name was NOT in the obits, then put that in the plus column and so forth...

So, my post began telling you about eight years ago: a good friend & I began a tradition of writing a list called "the Summer of Fun!" On this list you should write all the things, starting this weekend, you want to do before Labor Day; then DO them. Being a "list" person, I've embraced this idea in other areas of my life too, but we'll explore those later. I encourage anyone who happens to read this to try the list idea and see how much you achieve; it's a fun little game that keeps you from wasting away your summer. Remember to do something fabulous every day either for yourself or someone else - preferably both!

Have a wonderful weekend, and thank you for enduring my initial blog! Stick with me we'll go places,

~Nicole